Friday, January 31, 2014

America's NFL Super Bowl: "The Year of the Horse"


America’s NFL Super Bowl: “The Year of the Horse”

      As I sat down to write this blog, I happened to notice in my calendar that today is Friday, January 31, in the Year of our Lord(Anno Domini -- A.D.) 2014. This day happens to be the Chinese New Year(in the Year of their Lord) 4712, and this is the beginning of the Year of the Horse. That is the first scientific reason I think the Broncos will achieve a large victory over the Seahawks. My prediction: Broncos 33 Seahawks 13.

      This is the second: the inexperience of the Seahawks quarterback. Don’t get me wrong: I love Russell Wilson’s ability and intelligence and expect this fine organization to be back to the Superbowl in the near future led by him. However, I expect him to spend the first half with Superbowl eyes, a look like that found on the countenance of a deer caught in the lights of a sixteen wheeler coming downhill on a mountain road. By that time, it will be too late. If this sounds improbable, tell me how many points great quarterbacks like Rivers and Brady scored in the first half of the last two losing playoff games this year.

      In backing up my estimate, I first challenged Wilson’s relative youth on the hypothesis that young quarterbacks had not fared well in the history of the Super Bowl. I found that age had nothing to do with it. Quarterbacks younger than twenty-eight won their fair share of Super Bowls: Namath was 25 in 1969, the same age as Wilson; so was Joe Montana in ’82; Ben Roethlisberger was 23 when the Steelers beat the Seahawks in ’06; Brady was 24 in ’02.(About.comFootball) So age was not the factor. I thought I might have to eat some crow(not hawk) on this. But I kept looking.

      I looked at several factors until I found this one: In Superbowls where one quarterback who had previously won a Super Bowl(old hand) faced a quarterback appearing in the Superbowl for the first time(newbies), the old hands had a significant advantage. By my count, this has occurred fourteen times(if you count Bart Starr in the first Super Bowl versus newbie Len Dawson.) The old hands won ten of those matchups. Old hands included quarterbacks that had both won and lost a previous Super Bowl but not quarterbacks such as Tarkenton or Kelly, who never won a Super Bowl despite multiple appearances. Just appearing in a Superbowl previously was not enough.

      Obviously, Peyton is the old hand and Wilson the newbie. Newbie quarterbacks that have fallen to the old hands include Fran Tarkenton(‘74), Dan Marino(‘85), and Boomer Esiason(‘89.) From this statistic I derived the 33-13 score as follows:

      Old hands divided by total old hand/newbie matchups = 10 / 14 = 71%

      My Estimated Over/under score is 46 points total. Most people would probably have no problem anticipating a 24-22 victory by either team.

71% x 46 points = 33 points for Peyton(old hand), leaving
                              13 points for Wilson(newbie)
                              46 points

       Let me note for the Seahawks fans, that, of the four newbies who defeated old hands, all have occurred since 2001: Tom Brady(24) over Kurt Warner in ‘02; Eli Manning(27) over Brady in ‘08; Drew Brees(31) over Peyton Manning in ‘10; and Aaron Rodgers(31) over Ben Roethlisberger in ‘11.) The ‘hawks fans will immediately note that old hand Peyton Manning was defeated by a newbie not long ago. Could happen again. Yes it could. I am also aware that the trend to young quarterbacks since 2000 is startling. My theory is that it just doesn’t take as much to become an effective quarterback, what with the new protect-the-quarterback rules, as it did twenty years ago. Experience is not at such a premium. Alternately, the move to calling signals from the sidelines has made the quarterback position less significant. However, Peyton has revolutionized play calling in the NFL and is in full command, even to the point of training receivers.

      My third scientific reason for calling the game for the Broncos in a big way is the makeup of the teams. It is my impression that Champ Bailey has been held out specifically for the playoffs like the Ravens held out several key older players last year. and Terrance Knighton(Pot Roast) is big and cat quick. During the regular season, Knowshon Moreno ran for a higher average yards per rush than Lynch and fumbled only once to Lynch’s 3 times. In a pass-happy offense, Moreno scored 10 rushing touchdowns to Lynch’s 12 and 3 passing touchdowns to Lynch’s 2. I love the Beast. He’s been awesome in the playoffs. But Moreno can run, too. So can Montee Ball. Also the Broncos have four receivers in the top ten in touchdowns received during the regular season: Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker, Julius Thomas, and Wes Welker. Welker, with the fewest touchdowns of the four, had ten touchdowns last season. The top receiver for Seattle was Zach Miller with five.(espn.go.com)

      Finally, this is not the Broncos of the 80’s, but of the 90’s. Elway won it twice.  The team was built by a football player who knows what it takes. I love the Seahawks, but the Broncos are a significantly better team. Broncos 33, Seahawks 13. It is the Year of the Horse. mm

      P.s., for my friends who are not familiar with cowboy terms from the Old American west, a "bronco" is a horse, but probably a little wild.  In American rodeos, there are bronc' riders, who try to stay on a horse while it is trying to throw them off.  Throwing them off is called bucking.  Denver is a city in the old west in the Rocky mountains, where marijuana has recently been legalized, which makes the inhabitants thereof a little wild, also.  Hope this helps.m


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sniggerlings: "Bet on Me!"

Sniggerlings: Bet on me!

 
      Hey, don’t tell my new pastor, but for thirty years I bet the ponies in Southern California and other places with the advent of the Internet and closed circuit TV. I never beat ‘em. Didn’t lose a lot of money and had some fun. It could have been a lot worse.

      But, one of the most popular angles for years was betting a horse adding Lasix, a diuretic drug that was supposedly like aspirin. It not only flushed water out of a horse’s system before a race but was an analgesic painkiller for older horses and allegedly masked other, illegal drugs in their systems. At first, it was rare to see a horse adding Lasix, so the angle was to play any horse introduced to it the first time. Later, the play was added, to bet a horse coming off Lasix the first time. I discovered that adding Lasix was indeed a good sign if the horse looked otherwise okay and well meant that day.

      But then more and more and younger and younger horses -- even horses that had never run before -- began showing up with Lasix first time.

      Last time I looked it was hard to find a horse not on Lasix.

      But that was in my misspent youth. Recently, I had a start when I began taking a diuretic named Furosemide for high blood pressure. One day I noticed that what I was swallowing with my fries and chili dog was the generic name for Lasix. Now I had something more in common with thoroughbreds: mutual connections at the pharmacy. I missed out on betting on me, though: I noticed too late. But now my doctor has taken me off Lasix, and I’m ready for a prime bet in the right spot.

      By the way, this is my contribution to the world of horse race angles: If you see a thoroughbred taking a poop in the post parade in front of the stands, that is a very good sign. Think about it: weighs ten pounds less than when it weighed in earlier on the scales, is relaxed, and exhibits a certain lack of respect for the other competitors. My recollection was it won 60% of the time; unfortunately, I only saw that angle come up(or down) a dozen times in thirty years. You could go bankrupt waiting for the thing to happen.mm

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Sniggerlings "NFL: Deal Me In"



NFL: Deal Me In

      You can deal me in to the NFL season now. I’ve already ante-d up with $19.99 for NFL.com’s “Rewind”, only to find NBC is streaming the games live. I think I’ve finished mourning for Tim Tebow. As a person of faith, I take the screw job Tebow got from the NFL hard. Nevertheless, Peyton Manning is setting records for my team, the Denver Broncos, and I just can’t sit out anymore.

      I wore my John Elway jersey today. I was upset to find that the number 7 is on backwards on the shirt. I took a look at myself in the bathroom after I had put on my jersey, just to see how natty I looked, and was disturbed to see the number backwards in the mirror. Nothing I can do about it now. I hope a backwards “7” isn’t bad luck for my team.

      I thought about this, too: I discovered the ethnic origin of John Elway‘s family name. He must come from swine. You, see, “Elway” is actually pig latin for “well”, like in the popular question, “Are ou-yay eeling-fay Elway oday-tay?”(translation, “’sup?”)

      I also noticed that the second most popular Green Bay Packer, in Yahoo’s “Related People” is -- after Aaron Rodgers -- wide receiver James Jones; problem is, the picture they had next to the wide receiver’s name belonged to the actor James Earl Jones of The Great White Hope, The Sandlot, Field of Dreams, voice over for Darth Vader in Star Wars, etc(born in 1931.) And, if you Google-ed just “James Jones”, you’d find out he was in World War II and wrote the novel From Here to Eternity.. Poor guy. The only one more forgotten than him was Pope Francis, who, last I heard, was unknown to The Wiki-types. They still had Pope Benedict in office.

      Have a nice day.mm