"Sniggerlings"

"Sniggerlings"

      I have a million wise-ass comments that come to me during the day like profanity to a victim of Tourette’s Syndrome. My affliction includes a rare form of coprolalia in which I’ll suddenly shout a two-bit punchline that makes me laugh. Then I have a very minor seizure and I’m fine until the next time. My wife takes these in good humor and actually laughs occasionally, although never when the subject of my eruption is her family.

      I call these “sniggerlings”. For those whose primary language is not English, I apologize and humbly suggest that working through some of these annoying comments to arrive at some meaning(even if not what I thought I meant) may expand your English somewhat beyond what you can find in English language textbooks, or even a good dictionary. “Snigger” is a word you don’t hear much in America any more. It’s caught, however, in some fetid cavity of my brain, and I, at least, still have a relationship with the word. My The American Heritage Dictionary says it comes from the word “snicker”, which is not the Mars candy bar because the word snicker doesn’t start with a capital “S“. The original formula for the Mars Snickers candy bar required a capital “S” before nicker and was so copyrighted. A “nicker”, says my dictionary, is a soft neigh. A neigh is a horse’s comment or the expletive of a disagreeing politician. Why the Mars people put a capital “S” in front of a horse’s neigh is anybody’s guess.

      But I digress.

      “-lings” is an Old English/Middle English suffix, meaning “one that is connected with” or “one that is young, small, or inferior”(I can just hear some of you asking yourselves, “Old” English? How "old" is this guy?”). Some words ending in “-ling” include “halfling”(from Lord of the Rings -- Tolkien's field was Old English), underling, Ling-ling(a dead Panda), duckling, and Ringling(as in Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus.). The little “s" is plural. Q.E.D., we arrive at “Sniggerlings”

      Here’s an example:

       Recently, I wrote an essay entitled “Mikey Likes My Salami”. I said I was happy because Mikey the cat likes my cheap coldcut too, so my wife would let me keep it for sandwiches. Unfortunately, now my salami has holes in it, and all that’s sometimes left, with which to launch my lunch, is a (salami) ring and a prayer.

      I hope that was all worth it. Smile: A grinling is better than a somberling or, God forbid, a tearlet. Consider what it cost you.

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