Rookie Report on Big Bear Retreat(August 9, 2013)
My first time at a retreat in Big Bear. I thought I’d report about it on the Church Website, especially because nobody asked me to. Surprise! To protect the innocent, no names will be revealed except where absolutely necessary. Al drove Dave and me up and back. The first night the table was loaded with snacks. I think I took my heart medication with Snapple, chocolate chip cookies, wavy potato chips, guacamole, ranch dip(more later on the ranch dip) and watermelon(all four food groups.) I survived.
I’d like to report to the ladies that the men are well trained and that the toilet seat was in the proper position at all times, but I forgot if it’s supposed to be up or down, so I don’t know myself and need to be better trained. The first night I had a roommate, a giant moth. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and then it disappeared. It didn’t bother me at all, but it did leave its backpack on the top bunk.
Later, I played cards with Joshua and Alfonso and learned that I could be President or scum depending on how the cards fell. Late that night the moth reappeared and promptly dived into the ranch dip among the snacks. Only two of us noticed it, and the moth was quickly fished out of the dip. He probably survived his cool dip at the Ranch. On Sunday, Al and Dave took the scenic route back and we retraced the path of the cop killer Christopher Dorner, who retreated from attempts to capture him down local mountain roads as he tried unsuccessfully to evade police near where we also retreated.
There was much evidence of spiritual maturity at the retreat as one attendee had his car backed into by a local resident, but no bad language was reported to have echoed in the San Bernardino Mountains.
Marcus Mauldin, reporting
I’d like to report to the ladies that the men are well trained and that the toilet seat was in the proper position at all times, but I forgot if it’s supposed to be up or down, so I don’t know myself and need to be better trained. The first night I had a roommate, a giant moth. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and then it disappeared. It didn’t bother me at all, but it did leave its backpack on the top bunk.
Later, I played cards with Joshua and Alfonso and learned that I could be President or scum depending on how the cards fell. Late that night the moth reappeared and promptly dived into the ranch dip among the snacks. Only two of us noticed it, and the moth was quickly fished out of the dip. He probably survived his cool dip at the Ranch. On Sunday, Al and Dave took the scenic route back and we retraced the path of the cop killer Christopher Dorner, who retreated from attempts to capture him down local mountain roads as he tried unsuccessfully to evade police near where we also retreated.
There was much evidence of spiritual maturity at the retreat as one attendee had his car backed into by a local resident, but no bad language was reported to have echoed in the San Bernardino Mountains.
Marcus Mauldin, reporting
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